You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
