Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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