holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
