ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im six kinds of drunk right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
