She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
