I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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