I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize