What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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