Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize