Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
