While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
