I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
