I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize