then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
