Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
