i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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