honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize