everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
