I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
