let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.