Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture