After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell