here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dear god my vagina.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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