i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize