I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
