our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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