you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you made out with another girl for some wings
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
