Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
