You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think your dad took our porno
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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