Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We don't watch enough power rangers
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize