You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
