Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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