Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
