You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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