In the future we'll all be gay
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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