Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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