you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
