She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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