Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
