Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this just has baby written all over it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
