i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize