i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
