ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
