So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
