forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
