Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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