Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
