Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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