Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
