he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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