so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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