so explain again why im purple
no
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
