LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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