I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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