Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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