He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
