and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
