dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
