What tipped you off? The sombrero?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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