I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
