Betty ford says i'm here all night
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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