I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize