yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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