ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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