the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
