would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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