I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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