U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
